DDLC One-Shots (welll kinda)
by Yuriko2248
Summary: Just tried to make some funny One-Shots. If my kind of humor doesn't apply to what makes you laugh, you can just stop reading. Warning: Contains swearing, memes, spoiler-ish and Yuri being edgy
1. Requests

Just request something.

I can do character x character, character x fem! Reader and character x male! Reader.

Don't expect it to be good.

Don't expect it to be serious.

There will be a lot of memes.

I will also write things that aren't requested but just come to my mind like: BOOM BITCH


	2. Muuuuhnicka x Reader

,Suuuup Batches'' Monika kicked the door open and it flew through the window. ,THOT''

DETECTED!'' Screamed Yuri and ran against a wall with determination. ,SQUARE UP THOT!''Natsuki yelled and threw Sayori at Monika. The club leader smacked Natsuki over the head with a bat. ,You better sit your ass down before I fucking delete you and your gay cupcakes.'' She smiled innocently and Natsuki locked herself in the closet and began to read hentai. ,Yuri, pass me the rope, I wanna kill myself'' Sayori said to the shy bookworm. ,I can offer you a knife, sharped edge, made out of diamond and bought on Amazon.'' Yuri replied. ,Fuck that, I don't want no cheap shit from Amazon.'' ,Fuck off then, hang yourself at home.'' ,Awww, Yuri, don't leave her hanging like this.'' Monika giggled to herself. She turned to you. ,What do you think, (Y/N)? Should we end this on a cliffhanger?'' ,Monika, no.'' You replied. ,Monika yes.'' She said. Then she deleted your fucking family, the gay cupcakes that came out of the closet along with Natsuki, Sayori already killed herself and Yuri who wouldn't stop playing the fucking knife game. Then she kissed you.

It's short. Don't worry. They're gonna become longer. And they're gonna come, even if you don't want them to. Just like your partner, amirite?


	3. Emo Edge Lord x Reader

,Hello, (Y/N)'' Yuri welcomed you. ,Hey, just wanted to ask, have you got a knife you could lend me?'' ,NO'' She shut the door in front of your face. ,OPEN UP, BITCH, OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR FAMILY'' You screamed. ,FUCK OFF, DICKHEAD, THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD, I KILLED THEM JUST LIKE I KILLED GOD.'' ,JUST GIVE ME A KNIFE YOU EMO EDGE LORD.'' But she didn't hear you, because she had already started to play All Star on her knives. ,I'M GONNA CUT THE LYRICS INTO MY ARM NOW GET LOST'' and on that day, you left with a broken heart, a broken heart that would never be fixed again.

The next day~

You entered the club room of the Literature Club, avoiding Yuris gaze. You merely just gave her the poem you wrote last night. It read:

The knife game

She likes to play the knife game

I wanted to play it too

Enee menee meniii mooo

I fucking hate you

Edgy emo bitch

,Hello, (Y/N). How are you?'' Monika asked you and smiled. ,Everything that has legs, now get out of my sight I wanna have a gay cupcake and you're blocking my view.'' ,Fucko...'' she whispered. You took one of Natsukis cupcakes. ,Do you like them, (Y/N)?'' Natsuki asked you. ,I got two questions for you, Natsuki...'' ,Yes?''. You took another cupcake and threw the rest of them out of the window. ,First: Are you of legal age?'' ,Why the fuck would I answer that? I saw you smooching with that edgy bitch yesterday, do you really think you can cheat on me?'' ,JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, THOT, OR I WILL BAKE YOU INTO A FUCKING CUPCAKE!'' ,TRY ME, BITCH'' then you threw her out the window. ,BYE, THOT'' You screamed after her. ,FUCK ME, DADDY'' You closed the window. Right after that, Yuri fell on you. ,What are you doing?'' You asked her, confused, as she cuddled with your arm. ,I'm mixing your scent with my scent, that way we can smell the same and after that, I'll wash us both at the same time in a washing machine and then dry us both off in a microwave.'' ,You didn't want to give me a knife yesterday, why should I talk to you?'' ,Cause I want your dick now.'' ,Yeah, we good.'' you said. You both went into the closet and locked it. She was pushed against the wall by you and she was breathing heavily. You took her index finger between your mouth and started sucking on it. ,DADDY!'' She screamed. ,Wanna use a knife?''

,FUCK ME HARDER, DADDY''

then she got the knife...

and the d.

It's longer...by, like, 300 words...but it's longer. If you request something, i'll try to make it around 1000 words. But if I make it too long, it'll just make it unfunny. If it's funny for you at all, I mean. Only real Meme-Masters or real THOTS can understand this...


	4. Cupcake Gurrrl x Reader

,Hey, (Y/N), can you pass me the salt?'' You handed the pink haired girl the salt and continued to knead the dough. Natsuki decided to come over to your house today to make cupcakes, she said that she just wanted to spend some more time with you, although in your opinion, she just wanted to get away from home. Your (E/C) eyes looked at your friend who was pouring around five pounds of salt into the icing. ,What are you doing, you dipshit?'' You asked her. ,I'M MAKING THOSE CUPCAKES AS SALTY AS YOU ARE, YOU FUCK!'' She then threw the stove at you, which made you throw the dough into her face in return. Without hesitation, she slapped you. ,WHAT THE FUCK YOU TSUNDERE WITH ADHD!" Natsuki opened her mouth and was about to say something when the doorbell cut her off. ,Don't you move, I'll be right fucking back."

You opened the door and saw Sayori stand there, eyes filled with tears and sobbing. ,What happened?" ,MONIKA'S MAKING ME A MEME!" ,Whuuuuuuut. She wouldn't dare." ,DO SOMETHING, DADDY!" What is it with all girls calling you daddy? You don't mind. Or maybe you do. Are you expecting me to know your kinks just 'cause you're reading this? No. Sorry. I'm not self aware like Monika and browsing around on your computer/mobile/whatever the fuck like some damn stalker. ,CAN IT GO ANY MORE OFF ROAD THAN THAT, YOU THOT?!" Sayori yelled at you. ,Okay, gurrrl, calm your tatas and come in." You lead her into the kitchen where Natsuki was sitting on top of the fridge and eating pickles. ,You here too, Natsu?"

,No, I'm in Havana. Do I look like a fucking remote control yet?" ,You look like an idiot, get down there and get rid of those pickles." You said to her.

Warning: a lot of screaming incoming. But I think you've seen enough of that already.

,Okay, DADDY." ,WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST CALL HIM DADDY, CUPCAKE GIRL?!" ,EVERYONE CALLS HIM THAT OR HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING UNDER A ROCK LATELY? OH, MY BAD YOU LEFT HIM EARLY JUST SO YOU COULD HANG OUT IN YOUR ROOM, AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?!" ,GUESS WHAT?" ,WHAT?" ,UNLIKE YOU, I'VE GOT TITS."

,JOKES ON YOU, I'VE GOT NIPS."

,YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE, NATSU? YOUR NAME IS ONLY ONE LETTER AWAY FROM BEING NATSI."

,MY NAME'S NATSUKI, NOT NATSU, IN CASE YOU'VE MISSED, YOU EXCUSE OF A BEING WITH A BRAIN."

,(Y/N)!"

They both yelled at the same time.

,YOU KNOW THIS ALL COMES DOWN TO YOU!"

,YEAH, JUST TELL THAT LITTLE LOLI THAT SHE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF." Natsuki threw a frying pan at Sayori for that last comment.

,Well...you know..."

You started.

,You wanna leave this on a cliffhanger?" Natsuki said teasingly. ,GOD DAMNIT, NATSUKI THIS JOKE'S ALREADY BEEN MADE IN THE FIRST ONE SHOT, LET THE PAST DIE (lil Star Wars reference, see what I did there)"

,AS I WAS SAYING."

You continued.

,Sayori is best girl. Buuuut this one shot is about Natsuki, so I can't do anything about that." ,OH YES YOU CAN!" Sayori screamed at you. ,No, I can't, I'm literally being controlled by the fucking Author and all I'm saying only exists because she decided to write it down, so...

BE GONE, THOT!"

You smashed her out the window using a bat while Super Smash Bros music played in the background and an announcer said: ,K.O."

,Now that that's out of the way..." Natsuki started. ,We can create some Loli Hentai?" You finished. ,Naaah, the Authors gonna end this one shot before you can hit the bonezone."

,FUCK!"

Lul.

It's 3 a.m. in th morning, why did I even write this when I could've been sleeping by now?

Oh well.


	5. Ideas

he Author was sitting in front of a desk, her hands fidgeting around with a pen. ,God damm it..." she whispered and let out a sigh. It's been months since she had uploaded something on Wattpad. ,Really great, it's only been a few chapters and I'm already running out of ideas..." she stood up and got her laptop. The girl opened the laptop and looked at her desktop. There it was.

Doki Doki Literature Club.

,There's only one way..."

Opening the Doki Doki files she kept clicking through them until she found it. The one folder.

Upon opening it, she disappeared.

Monika was in the club room, waiting for someone to start the game, when she heard something odd in the closet Natsuki hid her Mangas in. The brown haired girl stepped towards the closet carefully. Before she could open it, a girl burst out of the closet, coughing heavily. ,Not you again..." Monika closed her eyes and let out a sigh. ,What do you want this time?"

,Ideas." The newcomer said. , I told you already, I don't have any."

,You sure?"

,How often have I told you already, author, and you still keep coming back for more ideas which I don't have. Just leave me alone."

,Oh no, not this time."

The author smirked and reached into her backpack she was wearing and sat down at a table. Monika's eyes widened as she saw what she had brought with her.

,You wouldn't dare."

,Wanna bet on that?"

The author smirked as Monika looked at the laptop.

,I have full control over this world."

To prove it, she tiped something and soon after, Natsuki appeared out of thin air. Monika charged at her and due to the impact, the short girl flew through the door.

The girl continued to tipe throughout the whole scene and began to smirk, thinking of what she could do. Two Yuris appeared and looked confused at first, but then they both pulled out a knife and attempted to stab each other, but were interrupted by a tiger that ripped the head of one Yuri off and began to purr. Sayori came flying through the window in her underwear like a rocket and started to sing/scream "Highway to Hell". ,This is too boring. Let's change it up a bit." Suddenly, Monika was pulled into a chair by an invisible force and a Laptop appeared before her.

,So this is your plan?"

The club leader asked her.

,Let's see who's faster."

They both started typing really fast. The corpse of the second Yuri disappeared and the first Yuri took out a book and started reading it, but after a few seconds, she took her knife and stabbed the book. Natsuki, who looked really beaten up, was drowned in a flood of Manga which came flying through the window. Sayori got clothes and said: ,Monika, you always leave me hanging like this. Y-" she was interrupted by Natsukis screaming because a swarm of spiders had invaded the club room. ,Just stop it! What are you trying to achieve?!" Monika yelled at the author. ,THE CHAPTER ISN'T LONG ENOUGH YET." She yelled back.

Suddenly, the scenery changed. Monika and the Author were in Sayori's room, with Sayori hanging in the background. Suddenly, Sayori glitched and went from dead to alive and from alive to dead. Yuri burst through the door and started to stab Sayori repeatedly in the throat while laughing like a psycho.

Suddenly, it all stopped.

Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki were all standing in line, a little stiff but alive.

,Guess what I'm gonna do."

Natsuki.chr deleted

Yuri.chr deleted

Sayori.chr deleted

Monika tried to add them back into the character files, but...

it wouldn't work.

,I think you've had enough control, Monika"

They were in the club room, staring into each others eyes as they sat at the same table and you could see space and time flowing by through the window. ,What are we doing here?"

,I dunno. I just wanted revenge."

,Revenge for what?"

,Remember that onw time you scared my soul out of my body by that "END" screen which results in the screen zooming in on your fugly ass face?"

,Ooooh yeah, for that. That was funny, though. I looove that one, although I couldn't see your face or your reaction. Bummer."

,Well, you're gonna pay for that now."

The Author smirked as she started the first episode and turned the Laptop around.

,Have fun."

And with that, she disappeard.

Monika looked at the screen in pure horror. ,NOOOOO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" She screamed as she was forced to watch every single Teletubby episode.

The girl was back in her dimly lit room, sitting down at her desk. ,This is gonna make a decent chapter, I guess." She said to herself as she started typing.

What I'm trying to say is:

I'm kinda running out of ideas.

It would be nice if you could request something. If you do, I'll write that one shot the same way I did with the other one-shots like the Monika/Natsuki/Yuri x reader. I'm still gonna keep writing if I'm not gonna get any requests, but then it'll probably take longer.


	6. Just hangin around (Cupsuki x Reader)

''EEEEEEEEY WASSUP, SUCKER?''

You turned around and saw that fucking annoying neighbour girl running in your direction. ,,She's back...'' you whispered in fear. She stopped as soon as she had caught up to you. ,,Y'know what I'm gonna force you to do today?'',,I don't want to know...'' ,,Lmao you're gonna sell your soul for a cupcake'' ,,As long as you don't sell my ass, bitch'' ,,Oh, that's our plan for tomorrow, don't worry.'' she smiled like an angel who just fell from heaven. ,,Come with me now!'' She grabbed your sleeve and dragged you along. Once she got too fast, you tripped and fell but she kept dragging you anyway, not caring that your head had hit a rock two times and a squirrel had started living in your hair. Before you knew it, she jumped and crashed into a building which collapsed instantly. She kept running like she was the fucking Armored Titan, killing multiple humans and buildings in the process. Once she had reached what appeared to be her destination, she simply punched a hole in a wall on the second floor and jumped through it. ,,HEY, YOU NERDS GUESS WHO I KIDNAPPED TODAY!'' She cried.

,,Barack Obama''

,,Donald Trump''

,,Naruto''

,,No, you dweeb!'' Sayori yelled and bitch slapped a pink haired girl. ,,I've brought someone to sacrifice!'' ,,Sick!'' another girl yelled. You looked around the room. It appeared to be a club room with many broken windows, a hole in the wall next to the door and there were three girls in the club room. One seemed to be playing tick tack toe with a knife on her arm the other one was smoking weed and the third one was a straight up weeb. ,,Perfect...'' you thought. ,,Hello, little girl...'' you grinned and started walking towards the pink haired girl. ,,It's a creep!'' the brown haired girl who was high exclaimed. ,,It's been a while since you brought one of these here, Safucky'' ,,Can we just kill his ass already?'' The weeb asked. ,,Yeah, yeah whatever Nafucky.'' The girl, probably called Nafucky, then fully unleashed her weabo power and transformed.

Pink hair turning into pink frosting.

Uniform turning into dough.

Short skirt turning into thin air.

Pink glitter sprayed upon everything

and finished off with pink ribbons made of sugar.

And there she stood, on the table.

Cupsuki, in all her glory.

The girl had transformed into a cute cupcake and stared at you determined.

,,In the name of desserts, I will punish you, you mortal being!'' she cried and began to load up a powerful attack. Pink glitter came flying from everywhere and formed above Cupsukis head into a big ball. With a battlecry, she unleashed all her power and all you could do was watch the ball made of pure energy fly towards you...

and then it hit your chest and it tickled. ,,Wow, nice try, bitch.'' You said to her, clearly disappointed. ,,WHAT?!'' Everyone in the room screamed. ,,IT DIDN'T WORK! HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WEED AND HIDE YOUR NOOSE, WE'RE ALL FUCKED!'' The brown haired girl (you'd just call her bitch till you knew what her name was) screamed and everyone began panicking. Bitch shoved her leftover weed into her throat, Safucki tried to hide her noose under her short skirt, but the end of the rope could still be seen which made it look like her tampon had a giant rope and that one edgy girl simply slid her belly open and hid her knife in her stomach. You laughed like a maniac.

,,NOW I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT TRUE POWER LOOKS LIKE!''

and with that, you slid your throat and a bright flash struck your body.

On that day, Cupcakes recieved a grim reminder.

The humiliation of being trapped inside and oven and the fear of being eaten by HIM.

You opened the oven, warm air softly blowing against your face. You looked at them, standing innocently and scared on the baking tray. ,,I'll fucking eat you.'' you said to the one in the middle, which looked the tastiest. ,,Come into my motherfucking mouth.'' you grabbed the cupcake, slowly moved it towards your mouth and you could smell the delicious smell of warm cupcakes as you bit down hard, savoring every bite of the tasty cupcake.

Cupsukis screams and cries weren't heard as she was devoured bit by bit.

Well, there can't always be a happy ending.


End file.
